Guest blog by Ricard Lofthouse from the Geneva Motor Show

I JUST dunno folks – a Bentley SUV? Yep it’s true. For now a concept called EXP 9F, it looks hideous but it will be built eventually, hopefully with some modifications. “Better than the Cayenne,” said one colleague, but that depends on a lot of assumptions about what makes an SUV and what makes a Bentley, and the bar is really, really low if you start with a Cayenne, Porsche’s most profitable vehicle ever, by a country mile.

“It’s a marmite reaction,” said my Bentley insider politely. Then, “on a steppe somewhere in Asia…” trailing off enigmatically.

Now do you see why this blog’s title is a bad pun on an Ang Lee movie? Bentley sales are roaring in China. An SUV was always going to happen sooner or later. If it only sells well in China, that’s enough. The last CEO Dr Franz-Josef Paefgen wouldn’t have made it, but even he confided in me once that the EU could legislate Bentley right off the road (CO2, dipsomaniac thirst, etc) and it wouldn’t really matter. Look east young man.

A confession. I started the day in downtown Geneva wasting precious minutes in a brilliant Papetier – call that a pen and stationery shop – called Brachard. There in front of me was a completely ugly knob of a pen covered in bright red dragons, priced at Cfr 2,500 (£1,750) and described as a limited edition. On the plane over, I’d also read about how the Genevois were licking their watchmaking lips with weird dragon timepieces costing mortgage money sums, because it’s the year of the dragon.

Without the China factor, the Geneva motorshow – arguably the most significant in the whole calendar – would make no sense.

On one hand you’ve got a Bentley SUV, and a new V12 from Ferrari in the shape of the new Berlinetta, and frankly any number of cost-no-object crazy machines from car makers gagging to line their pockets with renminbi drawn from the newly minted uber-class of Beijing.

Simultaneously, the show is a meek peek at a fuel sipping, low or no emission future painted in pastel shades of austerity. You could take it all in with a fast trot from one stand to the next, and some of the fresh metal was looking very beguiling to a business audience indeed.

Mercedes A-Class

First off, the Mercedes A-Class is a stunningly luscious head turner of a car that flatters BMW for its likeness to the new 1 Series, especially from behind, and the entry level diesel (the A 180 CDI) weighs in at 99g CO2. It has staggering road presence with a serious nose, so much so that you have to blink and blink again when comparing it to its frumpy predecessor.

When I was checking in later, a Swedish hack compared notes. “You zee,” he said, “it no longer falls over on zee elk test.” In fact, not to labour the point, but Dr Dieter Zetsche, Daimler CEO, actually said in his speech to the waiting hoards, “the new A-Class crouches up to 18 centimetres lower on the road than its predecessor.” Ang Lee, where are you now?

For those of you who might have forgotten the scandal, it was back in the late nineties that a Swedish journalist flipped the original A-Class in an avoidance manoeuvre designed to simulate swerving around a moose at high speed. The fall-out was a nightmare for Mercedes and the car never completely recovered.

There was also a very handy looking SL 63 AMG, but that’s going back to Chinese billionaire territory despite the claimed fuel economies of the new model. I’m not sure that RBS boss Stephen Hester (and people like him) would be seen in one these days, even if his bonus-less world is no obstacle to running costs.

MINI van

MINI had a van concept. Nice but no van, if I can put it so delicately. BMW had a 3 Series hybrid in the flesh, but not on the road until much later this year, so emissions figures aren’t yet published. They also had a fully mocked up electric car, the so-called ‘i-series’ which is promised for 2013. That’s not far away – and it looks pretty good from the outside

The men from Munich also launched an M6 Coupe with a 560hp V8. It can go from zero to China in 4.2 seconds. Of greater interest to Europe is the new niche of M vehicles running on diesel – anyone for an M550d xDrive? Think triple turbos and humungous torque.

Fiat Panda and VW Up!

More impressions taken lightly, on the hoof. The Fiat Panda is lovely, has a new automated gear box and some very clever Bluetooth infotainment. This was a theme of the whole show and explains why the VW group gave over masses of space to the VW Up! And it’s SEAT and Skoda equivalents. Small cars are back with a vengeance, but they’re no longer cheap and nasty. A styling point on the latter: I can’t abide the cheesy grin of the front valence on the Up! The Skoda Citigo is much better resolved and in red, with black alloys, it looked the biz.

Honda hybrids…and road going Toyota Yaris hybrid

Honda had a lot of tiny, elliptical concepts that lived up to the heritage of the Insight. Small, beautiful and no doubt mind-blowingly frugal, but not road ready – unlike the Toyota Yaris hybrid, which looked as ordinary as any other Yaris but will be popular in the UK with company car tax allowance busting performance and Prius levels of green cred.

New Peugeot 208

Peugeot boasted a very pretty 208 ‘Ice Velvet’ limited edition, thereby discovering what the watch world is quickly turning its back on, the power of limited editions. Proof that it’s not intended for China.

Nissan extends UK manufacturing

Sunderland’s finest didn’t disappoint – Nissan’s Invitation is a silly name but a beautiful machine that moves the whole Qashqai / Note design philosophy on. And it will be built in Sunderland.

In other business car news

If you were thinking about a Range Rover Evoque convertible, we’re not sure. With the top cut off it looks lumpy and heavy.

What happened to Lotus? All those stonking V8s were conspicuously absent, returning the brand to roughly where it was three years ago, with Evoras and Elises only decked out with acres of leather to make them look luxurious.

Speaking of Asia generally – Korea’s Kia is a powerhouse brand these days and its new Cee’d was attracting enormous attention as was its fantastic new Rio.
If there was a synthesis of fast/sexy and austerity/frugal business car newsat Geneva, it had to be the Toyota GT86 and its near identical Subaru stable mate. Small and fast and already the subject of rave reviews, I admit it looked great and I covet a drive. Although Far Eastern through and through, it mimics the original incarnation of the BMW M3 with petite dimensions and rear wheel drive purity and dynamics. Ang Lee would appreciate it.